Tales 'O' Bob, by Hogso...meep

[Hogso]

Chapter 1 - The case of the fallen cheese

As Bob walked down his local high street, one cloudy morning in june, he noticed a shiny object on the floor. Bending over, and picked it up, he found that it was not just a mediocre shiny object, but the last of King Herpes's lost rings.
''What to do, what to do...'' said Bob.
He paused for a moment...considering eating the lost ring, but this thought quickly ran from his mind, as it was quite obviously absurd.
''I'll take it back to that...King guy'' said Bob.
People where looking at him in a rather odd fashion now, as he had said two things to himself in a short space of time, and cos he was blocking up the pathway.
Indeed, a women with baby said ''Shift your fat arse'', and a young scally-wag exclaimed ''Queer...'' as they walked by.
Bob ignored the other random citizens, and thought (talking was a good way to get a good stiff kick in the balls - it had happened once before to Bob),
''I'm taking this ring back to King Herpes and getting the big FAT reward that goes with it...heheheh...then I can...no, thats my top secret plan, so secret, my brain doesnt even know it!''
And so he journeyed down the high street, took a left, right, left again and got lost.
''BASTARD! How can I get lost in my own hometown?''
''Cos your names Bob''
''Wa? Who said that?''
Bob turned round, and crouched on the fall was what can only be described as a Hobo. And a stereotypical one at that.
''My name is not Bob its...Fred!''
''Shut up Bob, everyone knows you!''
''How do they?''
''Cos of what you did to Mrs. Manni's postbox! Oh, it was so funny, they had to call the fire wotsits to cut you free didnt they? HAHAAAAAA...man, I thought that was some whacked out trip, but it really happened...why would you try and haveI DID NOTHING OF THE SORT!!'', cut in Bob.
''It was one your...your chips, they did it!''
''My what?''
''Chip, man, Chip! Oh, buggery to this!''
Bob walked away from the Hobo, and back up the other way. Then a seagull shat on his face.
''BAAAAAAAAH!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT, YOU EVIL BUGGER!''
Bob threw the only thing he was holding at the seagull.
''Take this you...NO DONT TAKE IT, GIVE IT BACK!!''
But, alas, the seagull was long gone, flying in the direction of the Kings house...
''I dont think my day could get any worse now...''
And so, Bob set off for home, and as he opened the gate in his front garden, he noticed that a large shadow had engulfed the whole of his house. Looking up he saw a giant piece of cheese hurtling from the sky right towards his house.
''NOOOOOOOOO!!! I like cheese, but not that much!!''

SPLAT!

[/chapter 1]

Edit - Revised version 3/10/04

[Mysty]

COOL!!! YEYEYEYEYEYEYEY!!!

CHEESE AND BOB STORIES RULE!!!

[shimmy]

this was... original! i like the name bob... not enough people are called that these days!

[DIE2K]

Still waiting on chapter 2 though :p

[Mysty]

me to... me cant wait either

[DIE2K]

Good, but we can't put much pressure on the writer :p
Maybe he'll have a mental breakdown or something :rolleyes:

[Hogso]

Im havin one right now anyways, so dont worry about it...heh eheh eheh ehe heeeh...

[DIE2K]

Oh crap!
Now the second chapter will be delayed.. :mad:

[Hogso]

Well my head should be sorted pretty soon...after I...talk to a certain person lol...
But it wont be too long!

[DIE2K]

Yay, Hogso isn't that *ucked up anymore :D

Looking forward to chapter 2 :cool:

[Mysty]

i cant wait....meepo

[DIE2K]

Stop it..
You're pressuring the writer!
Let him concentrate on the new exciting chapter ;)

[Mysty]

I DON'T MEAN TO...BUT THIS IS THE BEST STORY EVER... I MEAN...BOB AND CHEESE!!!*dies*

[Hogso]

Chapter 2 - The case of the random cat

The cheese had landed right on top of Bobs house...and by the looks of it, had completely encased it.
''Whats up with that?!?'', exclaimed Bob.
''Why would a giant piece of cheese land on my house?? I mean...does someone have that big a grudge against me?? Wait a minute...this could be a good thing!!''
And so Bob started to eat his way through the cheese in an attempt to free his house from its cheesy cage. Bob hadnt had any lunch yet, so he was getting through it pretty well.

3 hours past, and Bob just couldnt take any more. It turns out that cheese has the same effect as eggs if you eat loads - it makes you as sick as dog...but the sick was made out of cheese, so it wasnt all bad.
''I cant do this on my own...I need to recruit more people to help me! Hmmm...let me think...who else loves cheese around here...''
He wondered over to his next door neighbours house and knocked on the door.
''Hey there Moonstone, do you like cheese?''
''Mmmmm...helbaqua....ummm...'', muttered Moonstone.
''Errmm...OK...looks like you err *ahem* already have your hands full...nevermind!''
He was sure that his other nextdoor neighbour could help him out though, as she was a great lover of cheese. Bob went over and knocked the door.
''Hi Mysty, you like cheese right? Could you come and help me eat through the cheese that has fell on my house?''
''WOO!! SURE I CAN!! CHEESE!! MEEEEEEEP!!'', screamed Mysty, who seemed quite ecstatic at he thought.
So Mysty zoomed off, and started chomping on the cheese - and she obviously was a great lover of cheese, as she had eaten more than Bob had in half the time!
But it only made a tiny dent in the overall size of the piece of cheese.
''Damnnation! I need more people to help me!''
So he went to every street in his neighbourhood asking people for help. But it wasnt all that succesful.
DIE2K wanting paying a trazillion dollars for the job, Shamay didnt like the thought of getting sick from so much cheese, and shimmy was too busy....doing something with what appeared to be a balloon, but Bob wasnt sure.
The only other person Bob managed to recruit was Thaxul. He didnt seem to keen, until Bob mentioned that Mysty was also helping out, and he jumped at the oppurtunity.
This took Bob a number of hours, and by the time he got back, it was already too dark to continue eating the cheese.
However, Mysty and Thaxul had made leeps and bounds, and made a nice hole around the door so Bob could get into his house again.
''WOW! I dont know how to thank you guys! Ohhh....''
Mysty had turned into a piece of cheese cos she'd ate so much (''I always though that was an old wives tale...meh'', thought Bob), and Thaxul was as sick as a million dogs, let alone one.
Bob, feeling he owed them something, got them both safely to the hospital, before the day was out.
When he finally returned home, however, he was exhausted, and just wanted to get into bed.
But something wasnt right. Does cheese usually make strange noises? Bob figured it must when its covering a house.
As he walked through his front garden, towards his door, a murple cat ran past him, and through his front door...which was open.
Bob, thinking it was strange that his door was open, walked through it, and was confronted with the most horrific sight he had ever layed eyes upon.
''BAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!''

[/chapter 2]

[Mysty]

WOW!!! ME AND THAX WERE IN IT!!!

AND I TURNED INTO A CHEESE...WHOOP...poor thax tho...

[Thaxul]

im glad you added me to the story! :D

but did you have to make me get sick?

[Duo]

hehehe you all became pawns of the cheese but i didnt even lick the cheese cos i hate cheese unless it in a burger on toast or made of string!:D

[Moonstone]

Originally posted by Hogso
Chapter 2 - The case of the random cat

The cheese had landed right on top of Bobs house...and by the looks of it, had completely encased it.
''Whats up with that?!?'', exclaimed Bob.
''Why would a giant piece of cheese land on my house?? I mean...does someone have that big a grudge against me?? Wait a minute...this could be a good thing!!''
And so Bob started to eat his way through the cheese in an attempt to free his house from its cheesy cage. Bob hadnt had any lunch yet, so he was getting through it pretty well.

3 hours past, and Bob just couldnt take any more. It turns out that cheese has the same effect as eggs if you eat loads - it makes you as sick as dog...but the sick was made out of cheese, so it wasnt all bad.
''I cant do this on my own...I need to recruit more people to help me! Hmmm...let me think...who else loves cheese around here...''
He wondered over to his next door neighbours house and knocked on the door.
''Hey there Moonstone, do you like cheese?''
''Mmmmm...helbaqua....ummm...'', muttered Moonstone.
''Errmm...OK...looks like you err *ahem* already have your hands full...nevermind!''
He was sure that his other nextdoor neighbour could help him out though, as she was a great lover of cheese. Bob went over and knocked the door.
''Hi Mysty, you like cheese right? Could you come and help me eat through the cheese that has fell on my house?''
''WOO!! SURE I CAN!! CHEESE!! MEEEEEEEP!!'', screamed Mysty, who seemed quite ecstatic at he thought.
So Mysty zoomed off, and started chomping on the cheese - and she obviously was a great lover of cheese, as she had eaten more than Bob had in half the time!
But it only made a tiny dent in the overall size of the piece of cheese.
''Damnnation! I need more people to help me!''
So he went to every street in his neighbourhood asking people for help. But it wasnt all that succesful.
DIE2K wanting paying a trazillion dollars for the job, Shamay didnt like the thought of getting sick from so much cheese, and shimmy was too busy....doing something with what appeared to be a balloon, but Bob wasnt sure.
The only other person Bob managed to recruit was Thaxul. He didnt seem to keen, until Bob mentioned that Mysty was also helping out, and he jumped at the oppurtunity.
This took Bob a number of hours, and by the time he got back, it was already too dark to continue eating the cheese.
However, Mysty and Thaxul had made leeps and bounds, and made a nice hole around the door so Bob could get into his house again.
''WOW! I dont know how to thank you guys! Ohhh....''
Mysty had turned into a piece of cheese cos she'd ate so much (''I always though that was an old wives tale...meh'', thought Bob), and Thaxul was as sick as a million dogs, let alone one.
Bob, feeling he owed them something, got them both safely to the hospital, before the day was out.
When he finally returned home, however, he was exhausted, and just wanted to get into bed.
But something wasnt right. Does cheese usually make strange noises? Bob figured it must when its covering a house.
As he walked through his front garden, towards his door, a murple cat ran past him, and through his front door...which was open.
Bob, thinking it was strange that his door was open, walked through it, and was confronted with the most horrific sight he had ever layed eyes upon.
''BAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!''

[/chapter 2] thanks im in to so is helbaqua lol

[DIE2K]

yay, chapter 2 :D:D

[Mysty]

meeeeeeeeeeeeeep....more more more...CHEESE!!!

[DIE2K]

When chapter 3 coming out oh great cheese master :p

[Mysty]

will me and thax be in chapter three??? plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Duo]

wot about me?

[Thaxul]

Originally posted by Mysty
will me and thax be in chapter three??? plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
well, you might be.........eating yourself! :D

[Hogso]

I guess I'll put everyone from the forum in it...one way or another...heheheee :D

[Duo]

err....im not sure now if thats gud or not.....:(

[Mysty]

ITS A GOOD THING...if you have what i have in mind...

[Hogso]

Hmmm...I dont know...do I? ;)

[Duo]

run people!!!

[Mysty]

Originally posted by Hogso
Hmmm...I dont know...do I? ;)

hum...depends what you know...

[Hogso]

Yeah...I guess it does...;)

[Mysty]

lolz...cant wait to see the nxt chap then ;)

[Shamay]

Bob? Cheese? Bob... BOB! DOOD THATS FSKING AWSOME ITS BOB! And I was in capter two, yay :D
Wow, I'm actually enjoying this story for its storyline, I need to read more, bring on capter 3!

[Mysty]

ITS AMAZING IN IT!!!

and i cant wait til chap 3 either

*starts singing:

and i dont wanna fall in love*

[blackkite]

WTF is chp 3??? its llong enough already...i may have to write it

[Hogso]

NO YOU WONT!! Its my story, you do your own! :p
And it might be a while, cos I'm going to be very busy over the weekend...in a good way :D

[Thaxul]

you better hurry, they can be like savage lios when they are waitng on stuff

[Hogso]

Well...I suppose I could try and do it tonight...we'll see :)

[Thaxul]

oh, kewl.....its for your own good!

[blackkite]

ill do the last chapter!

Bob walked in and saw the most horrific site...one that one give him nightmares for the rest of his life...

Someone was sticking albino mouse droppings in the cheese and leaving it to go moldy...bob sneaks back out of the dor, and went into the dothack building and got the crew and we all went round...

The foiler was still in the dark and shocked, we started to get closer and we turned on the light...IT WAS Percy PumpkinTits...we tell him off but then BK comes forth pulls out his samurai sword and chops off his head, but then the rest of the crew begin to be sick! BK takes his body home and clears out all the guts and then fills it full of the rabbit poo moldy cheese, he then comes back and puts back on the head!

2 DAYS LATER

Police come and take the body home and it was classed as cheese degree murder, done by no other than the cheese man (bogeymans brother)
BK comes back and then mysty comes up and then pushes BK out the window for murdering him...but BK grow wings made out of cheese and say's to mysty "cheese is a holy power, it cannot be left to rot and poisoned, i did what was right, and you dont need red bull to give you wing, you just needs a healthy diet of chese!

and then there was a victory parade and a party started, beer, cakes, and hookers(men and female ,in seperate rooms of course) everyhwere...everyone ate cheesecakes until they grew wings and then flew to heaven...the end! or is it?

[Thaxul]

it wasnt a building that we were all in, it was a neighbourhood.

[blackkite]

so? its more fun with a building, we can mess with the elevator ^.^

[Hogso]

Originally posted by blackkite
ill do the last chapter!

Bob walked in and saw the most horrific site...one that one give him nightmares for the rest of his life...

Someone was sticking albino mouse droppings in the cheese and leaving it to go moldy...bob sneaks back out of the dor, and went into the dothack building and got the crew and we all went round...

The foiler was still in the dark and shocked, we started to get closer and we turned on the light...IT WAS Percy PumpkinTits...we tell him off but then BK comes forth pulls out his samurai sword and chops off his head, but then the rest of the crew begin to be sick! BK takes his body home and clears out all the guts and then fills it full of the rabbit poo moldy cheese, he then comes back and puts back on the head!

2 DAYS LATER

Police come and take the body home and it was classed as cheese degree murder, done by no other than the cheese man (bogeymans brother)
BK comes back and then mysty comes up and then pushes BK out the window for murdering him...but BK grow wings made out of cheese and say's to mysty "cheese is a holy power, it cannot be left to rot and poisoned, i did what was right, and you dont need red bull to give you wing, you just needs a healthy diet of chese!

and then there was a victory parade and a party started, beer, cakes, and hookers(men and female ,in seperate rooms of course) everyhwere...everyone ate cheesecakes until they grew wings and then flew to heaven...the end! or is it?
what? WHAT?!?! Sorry dood, but DONT post the next part of MY story, its just not cricket! :mad:
But by all means make your OWN story with your OWN characters in another thread :)

[Thaxul]

yeh, no offence to you, bkite, hogsos story was better! :p

[Duo]

hogso! not moonstone tisk tisk moonstone

[Thaxul]

Originally posted by Duo
hogso! not moonstone tisk tisk moonstone

when did moonstone come into this?

[blackkite]

hmmm...that alternate death scene...thaxul knows wut mes onna bout

[Mysty]

oh...ok then...cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssseeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Thaxul]

Originally posted by blackkite
hmmm...that alternate death scene...thaxul knows wut mes onna bout
i do!? :eek:

[Mysty]

he does???