Xias
07-12-2004, 11:12 pm
Not in good mood tonight, which makes for good poetry writing(for me, at least), so I started this thread. Please, criticise all you wish, i'll make a poem out of that eventually. I just want to kick off with a song. Not a poem, sure, but it's one I've written and want to get feed back on.
[Untitled]
This silence is golden,
Yet i'm falling between the gaps.
You refuse to look at me,
I stare at the silvery taps.
The blood stain on my shirt,
Is a portrail of a melody.
The text books around us,
Add nothing to this rarity.
(chorus)
You,
Broken by this discovery.
You,
Shattered by how I lied so casually.
You,
To whom I owe the greatest reason.
You,
To whom I've comitted the greatest treason.
An expected shout,
Echoes through the classroom.
A falling glacier tear,
Signifies my coming to doom.
The scars on my arms,
Are the new discovery.
I'm sorry I lied,
Maybe I should've let you see.
You,
Broken by this discovery.
You,
Shattered by how I lied so casually.
You,
To whom I owe the greatest reason.
You,
To whom i've comitted the greatest treason.
An shadow of doubt passes your eyes,
I'm afraid i've lost your trust.
You examine the scars carefully,
Wish you wouldn't but it's a must.
Innocent eyes,
The ones I know are concerned.
You may be the teacher,
But you're the one whose learned.
You,
Broken by this discovery.
You,
Shattered by how I lied so casually.
You,
To whom I owe the greatest reason.
You,
To whom i've comitted the greatest treason.
Know it or not,
If you forgot,
My apologise are due,
I am only sorry ever to
You.
[Untitled]
This silence is golden,
Yet i'm falling between the gaps.
You refuse to look at me,
I stare at the silvery taps.
The blood stain on my shirt,
Is a portrail of a melody.
The text books around us,
Add nothing to this rarity.
(chorus)
You,
Broken by this discovery.
You,
Shattered by how I lied so casually.
You,
To whom I owe the greatest reason.
You,
To whom I've comitted the greatest treason.
An expected shout,
Echoes through the classroom.
A falling glacier tear,
Signifies my coming to doom.
The scars on my arms,
Are the new discovery.
I'm sorry I lied,
Maybe I should've let you see.
You,
Broken by this discovery.
You,
Shattered by how I lied so casually.
You,
To whom I owe the greatest reason.
You,
To whom i've comitted the greatest treason.
An shadow of doubt passes your eyes,
I'm afraid i've lost your trust.
You examine the scars carefully,
Wish you wouldn't but it's a must.
Innocent eyes,
The ones I know are concerned.
You may be the teacher,
But you're the one whose learned.
You,
Broken by this discovery.
You,
Shattered by how I lied so casually.
You,
To whom I owe the greatest reason.
You,
To whom i've comitted the greatest treason.
Know it or not,
If you forgot,
My apologise are due,
I am only sorry ever to
You.